Pre mastectomy healing circle
I was 36 years old, a wife and a mother to an eleven-year-old and three-year-old twins when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. My diagnosis of DCIS was one of the "best" you can have as far as breast cancer goes. (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ which means cancer of the ducts that has not spread outside the cell walls) For most women in my situation docs offer a breast preserving treatments. But in my case, my family history was a reality I could not ignore. My mother succumbed to the disease at age 39 and my older sister was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer just nine months prior to me. A breast preserving option seemed to be like playing a Russian roulette. I knew that any decision I was going to make was not only for me but for my young girls. It was my responsibility and obligation to do everything I could to stay healthy for them. I chose a double mastectomy.
The logical and realistic part of me was ready to go forward with the surgery, but the woman part of me was horrified, scared and appalled. How could I step into this without feeling a great defeat? Will I ever be the same? How could I continue to feel lovable? Beautiful? Feminine? Sexy?
Even though I was surrounded by family and friends I felt terribly lonely in the decision process. Decisions never came easy to me, even choosing a meal from a dinner menu was an agonizing task. But I knew that I was the only one who could make those decisions, and I struggled.
I needed support to carry me through this process and I realized that it was time for me to ask for help. I wanted to be taken care of, nurtured, pampered, loved. I wanted to be in the company of my women friends, I needed them to help me process and let go of my fears, let go of the image of my body as I knew it, but not loose my SELF.
So when my friends asked me "What can we do for you” I asked them to gather all my angles and help me create an intimate healing ceremony so I could celebrate and accept my body, and let go of my physical breasts. It was not easy to ask to be pampered and loved, but when I did, there was no hesitation. Everyone was ready to be fully present and give from the depth of their hearts.
This was one of the most meaningful gifts I ever received. It turned out to be an amazing powerful night. Not only did it empowered me, and gave me the strength and the confidence that I am, and will always be the same me, with or without breasts, but everyone in the room felt elated, open-hearted and full of vibrating loving energy.
The experience was so powerful for me, that when I was completely recovered I wanted to give this gift to every woman who is going through this tough journey, letting her know that she is not alone, and she IS, and always will be, a beautiful woman.
Sharing the healing
Do you feel the need for a change in your mind set? Healing energy for the body? Calm your nervous system?
Do not be afraid to ask for help. Love yourself enough and know that you are worthy of receiving. Know that your friends are ready and willing to be there for you.
I conducted many healing circles, and I would be happy to help you plan and/or facilitate your healing circle.The circles are not limited to women or pre-mastectomy breast cancer patients, and open to anyone who is going through a crisis or grieving in their life for what ever reason.
What to expect?
Each circle is tailored on an individual basis so what ever is happening is agreed upon by the recipient.
A typical circle lasts about 2 hrs. If you choose to make it a potluck event plan additional time for eating and schmoozing after. (highly recommended…)
Be prepared for an intimate, organic, loving time.
The circle will start with a short meditation for centering and gathering intentions from all participants.
Sharing time: Each participant will have the opportunity to bring an offering for the recipient in the form of a poem, a reading, a personal story, a blessing, or a small gift that they would like to share.
Closing: The recipient will then be invited to be the center of attention and receive massages, foot rubs and a healing session surrounded by Tibetan bells.
Bodycast: (Optional, of course) Using strips of plaster to make a cast of the upper torso. (I made mine into an art piece, which is still in progress...)
Participants are welcome to partake or opt out of any activity that will be taking place
I can come to your place of choice. Unfortunately, I only offer the circles in the Boulder/Louisville area.
I do not want to add any financial stress to the recipient, so any amount will be appreciated to compensate me for my time and travel. In some occasion participants chip in.
I would ask the organizer to buy supplies if needed or to be reimbursed for materials such as plaster for a body cast.
Who shall I invite?
Anyone that you trust to be supportive to you.